The Way Your Heart Beats
by PaigeHalliwellWilderMatthews
Summary: Elle has come back to the BAU. She has to learn to deal with Emily taking her place not only at work but in her friendship with JJ. Will Elle and Emily be able to work together? Will JJ have to chose between the two women?
1. Prolouge

**TITLE: **_The Way Your Heart Beats_

**SUMMARY: **_Elle has come back after her time away to find she had been replaced by Emily Prentiss – not only her desk and her place on her team – but also her friendship with JJ. Elle quickly realizes that Emily likes JJ as more than a friend and realizes she has a rival for JJ's heart. But who will JJ chose – Emily or Elle? Or someone else?_

**WARNINGS: Lesbian**_ themes, sexual content, adult language._

**RATING: **_M – Mature readers on a few chapters, but over all T rating._

**CATEGORY: **_Friendship / Romance / Hurt/Comfort / Crime / Angst / Tragedy / Spiritual / Humor_

**PROLUGE RATING: **_K _

**CM CM CM CM CM CM CM CM CM**

**PROLUGE**

**RETURNING HOME**

She watched impassively as the elevator's doors glided shut – it wasn't until she felt the lift start it's downward movement before she took a deep sigh. It wasn't relief – not necessarily – no the relief wouldn't come until her next interview. The interview that truly mattered.

Her eyes traveled upward and counted down the floor levels and as the elevator jerked to a soft stop her face became impassive once more as the doors glided open. She walked out and to the glass doors that led to the bull pen and to the office on the second floor that she had to have her interview in. She in relief that the three important desks were empty. As she climbed the stair case she quickly saw the door that was opposite from the bull pen was closed – her eyes found the first door from the right of the stair case was closed also. She walked passed it and stopped in front of the door to the office where she had to have the interview was closed. She saw a man sitting at his desk his face intent as he was studying the file in front of him. She lifted her head higher and she willed her nerves to become steel as she raised her hand to knock.

"Enter." The brisk voice said from within the office.

She opened the door and nodded tightly as Aaron Hotchner lifted his head. She shut the door behind her and to her it sounded like gun fire – but she hid her fear behind her eyes. She let go of the door knob from her death gripe and made her way to the desk and take Hotch's out stretched in hers.

"It's good to see you again, Elle." Hotch said covering her hand with his free hand – so he was standing with her slim delicate hand engulfed with both both of his strong and extremely calluses hands.

"Hotch." Was all Elle got out before her breath got caught in her thoart.

Hotch let Elle's hand go and simply watched as she took the chair – the chair she had sat in two year previous when she turned her badge and gun in. He hadn't missed the look of fear in her eyes when she had shut the door – nor the slightest intake of breath. He wasn't a top of the line profile after all – an he knew this woman whom was sitting before him very well.

Hotch sat back down behind his desk and lifted the file – he turned it sideways so she could read ELLE GREENAWAY on the white label. He saw that she knew what it meant and set it back on his desk, unopened. "So you feel you are ready to come back to work. He didn't have to state it as a question. It wasn't even a question – rhetorical or otherwise.

"Yes." Elle stated looking Hotch straight in the eyes.

"I all ready have a full team. I'm not kicking anyone off to make room for you." Hotch said firmly. "You have to find a new desk – yours now belongs to Emily Prentiss."

"I understand. Is the desk opposite Reid available?" Elle asked.

This time it was Hotch's turn for the one word answer. "Yes."

"Than I'll have that desk." Elle stated.

"You won't be able to attend all the field work – if you do join us than you will stay mainly at the police stations with either JJ or Reid doing background checks." Hotch said with a firm line on his lips.

"I understand." Elle tightly nodded.

"You job now is your basic desk job." Hotch's eyes twitched.

"I understand." Elle repeated. She stood to her feet and walked to the door. Her hand was on the knob when Hotch spoke once more.

"Elle ..." Hotch said in a kinder voice. When she turned to look at him. "Welcome back."

"Thanks Hotch." Elle said, her face still impassive. She turned back to the door and opened it. She walked out into the hallway and closed the door. Not all the way unknowing. When she passed his window, Hotch got to his feet and walked over to his slightly open door and he opened it up further so he could watch the scene that was being played out in the bull pen below.

As soon as Elle had existed Hotch's office she saw upturned faces from the bull pen. She turned sideways to walk down the hallway without a smile or a nod of the head. She stopped beside the man who was standing at his open door way.

"Hello dad," she softly said lightly

"Don't call me that." Gideon said in a equally light voice. "Welcome back." He stepped out of his office and walked beside the younger woman. "You know the team – but let me introduce you to Emily Prentiss."

They walked silently downstairs – but not a strained silence – but a silence of two people who fully understood one another and the life altering trauma that the other lived through. The trauma that connected each other for life.

Elle was actually grateful that Gideon had put his hand on her back. It had been Gideon's concern face that Elle had seen when she had woken up from drugs they had gave her as they did the surgery that had saved her life when Randall Garner - their unsub – hot shot her four years previous. It was Jason Gideon who showed Elle that there were still humans out in the world and not just monsters.

Gideon guided Elle passed a row of desks to stop at her old desk – where a nicely dressed thirties something woman was standing. Elle caught how awkward and unsure the woman looked and that raised her own confidence up much higher.

"Elle Greenaway this is Emily :Prentiss. She had been helping us out since you left. Emily this is Elle." Gideon said still with his hand on Elle's back. He watched as the two women stuck out their hands and shook firmly. He didn't miss the fact that Emily withdrew into herself with Elle's eyes on her. He knew there would be trouble – but he knew the team would just get stronger with these two equally strong women working side by side.

Elle let Emily's hand go finally and watched as the other woman's hand went to rest on the desk with a slight shake to it. Her eyes left Emily to look into the kind and compassionate eyes of the strong built Derek Morgan.

"Hello fellow car traveler." She lightly said.

"Can't wait for the next one." Morgan said as he quickly wrapped Elle up into a bear hug. Elle felt the loss of Gideon's hand on her back – but she felt safe in Morgan's arms.

Finally pulling away Elle looked over and smiled. "So here's Doctor Reid."

"Hello Elle." Reid said in little tightly. He held out his hand to shake.

Elle took the offered hand and shook it. She felt the loss of Reid's ready friendship – but she understood it – she had abandoned Reid after all. Before she could think more on this a familiar scent filled the air. Still with her hand in Reid's – Elle turned her head to the right and found the teams liaison officer Jennifer Jareau making her way over to the group.

"Elle welcome back." JJ said with a ready smile on her lips and her blue eyes sparkling. "We have all missed you very much."

Elle had let Reid's hand go and she held it out for JJ to take – but she was surprised when JJ wrapped herself in Elle and pulled Elle into a tight bear hug. Elle wrapped her arms around JJ's back and returned the hug.

"I have missed you." JJ whispered in Elle's ear.

Elle didn't say anything in return. She just allowed the warmth of the hug to wash over her entire being. Sadly the hug ended all too soon for her and she was standing on her own once more. She didn't miss the fact that JJ moved over and stood closer than what would be normal to Emily. She carefully watched as JJ put a hand on top of Emily's white hand which still was clutching the desk. She saw that JJ was moving her hand in a soothing motion. She turned her eyes away from the moment and saw from the corner of her eyes that Gideon hadn't missed where her eyes had been. She wanted to take an inward sigh but she was relieved that none of the rest of the team had noticed, she she wasn't going to draw any attention to her sudden rotten mood.

"GIRL!" A high pitched squeal lit up the bull pen and Elle was suddenly attacked by a plump blond woman with deep dimples in her checks as she smiled. Elle had to laugh as she tried to get her breath back after being squeezed to death. When she finally was pulled away, "Hey Gracia," she said.

"Welcome home girl." Gracia said with a some swift nods of her head.

"Thanks." Elle said her face returning impassive.

Hotch returned to his office and shut the door. He had seen enough.

**CM CM CM CM CM CM CM **

**END PROLUGE **


	2. The First Case Briefing

**CHAPTER ONE**

**THE FIRST CASE BRIEFING**

Elle pushed opened the door to the the bull pen and walked passed several of the desks and nodded to some of her former co workers who were her co workers once more. She saw that Emily was all ready at her desk with her head down hard at work. She had heard that Emily Prentiss was a dedicated worker, that in fact Emily actually came off a desk assignment when she joined the BAU. Elle heard that Emily pretty much had to worm her way into her assignment as the replacement for herself.

Elle walked past her old desk silently with her head faced forward, the moment she felt Emily lift her head to see who was walking past her back. She felt Emily's comfortableness and she smiled inwardly. She smiled inwardly as she felt superior once more of the slightly younger woman, she very well knew that Emily was a few months younger than she was. She did her homework on her replacement before she even spoke with Diana Strauss. You had to be prepared in this business.

Emily sighed inwardly as she watched Elle Greenaway pass her desk and pulled out her chair and sat down on it. She waited for the woman whom she had replaced to look up and nod at her or something, but nothing. She sighed once more and looked back down on the file that she was just finishing up with her own personal remarks, it was due on Hotch's desk in an hour.

"Man you can cut the tension with a knife," Derek said standing out side the small kitchen area with a cup of coffee in his hand and Gracia, and Reid on the other side of him. "How long before the explosion do you think?"

Penelope sighed deeply, "I hope there won't be an explosion," she shook her head as she kept a sharp eye on the two desks that were opposite the desk where Morgan and Reid each sat. "I don't think either of them would be emotionally strong if there is one."

Reid had opened his mouth to spout out the mathematic statistics of the the explosion of two equally strong minded people but yet so different, but he read correctly Gracia's concern. So he closed his mouth and just simply watched the two women work and trying to avoid one another. Instead he said something that truly surprised even him, "So how do you think JJ is taking the fact that Elle is back in our lives?"

"You tell us, Reid, it seems like you know more on what makes JJ tick than the rest of us." Derek said as he looked sideways over at his young best friend.

Reid felt hot under the collar as he heard a harsh note under Morgan's tone, a harsh note that had been there since he had gotten kidnapped by Tobias Henkiel a few years previous. The night that he and JJ went on a typical house call and all hell broke lose. He knew that Derek didn't truly blame JJ for getting separated from Reid that night; she couldn't truly stop it Reid was on a high and he wouldn't have listened any way. But he knew that when JJ wanted Derek to voice his blame and his anger at her, he didn't he just said that she had to deal with the guilt on her own. And JJ had, even though Derek had later gone to her and apologized for his attitude. Everyone knew that Derek and JJ considered one another as brother and sister, but no one liked the slight tension between them.

Reid himself was guilty of tension among the BAU teams family, when Emily had first arrived, Reid hadn't allowed himself to accept her. He had acted like a spoiled little boy when Emily came and replaced Elle, he didn't blame Emily for Elle quitting and leaving. He just felt betrayed that his "sister" had left him without talking about her reasons. Even through Reid completely understood why Elle had to leave, she had to get herself and her life back together. But he was angry that Emily so causally took over Elle's desk. He felt a deep rooted anger whenever he looked across his desk and instead of seeing Elle he saw this strange woman. When he went through what he did with his craving for the drug, Dilaudid, and he was pulling away from the team to see if he could make a life without the FBI, he truly didn't like Emily getting into his face how she did.

But once the drug was out of his system and he truly accepted the fact that his life belonged at the BAU, he slowly came to accept Emily as part of his family. They never had a heart to heart, but they came to appreciate each other's smarts, skills, and lives. They in fact became brother and sister. They became family. Reid was happy with the way his life has turned out, he was an only child with divorced parents, his father had left him as he was a boy and his mother was mentally sick. So having two father figures, a brother, and three sisters in his adult hood was just fine.

Now JJ was a different matter, Reid has never come to terms to thinking of Jennifer Jaraeau as a sister. No she was his dream Goddess, she was his dream woman. No she was his soul mate. Too bad JJ thought of him as a brother.

Reid turned to look Derek fully in the eyes, "Morgan," was all he got out before Hotch walked past them, "Meeting in five minutes." Reid sighed and walked towards the stair case that led up to the conference room which the team used for their meetings.

Elle looked up as Hotch walked past the desk, "Meeting in five minutes." She watched out of the corner of her right eye as Emily stood to her feet and grabbed the file she had been laboring over for the past ½ hour and walked towards the stair case. Her left eye remained on Hotch's face. She silently lifted her eye brow.

Hotch nodded and turned and went up the stairs himself as Elle stood to her feet with a thin smile on her lips as she followed him. She felt Morgan right behind her, she paused on the top of the stairs and allowed him to pass her. He looked at her in a family way before he passed her and went into the conference room. Elle took a slight breath and walked towards the door and paused just inside, she saw that JJ was in her typical place standing next to the table with a remote in her hand, Gideon sat in his typical chair, as was Hotch, Reid and Morgan. She noticed that Emily was sitting in her chair at the table, so it wasn't just her desk that Emily had taken over but her chair in the conference room. Her eyes roamed the room and she found a chair next to Gideon and Reid so she walked over and sat down and turned her eyes to look at the scene waiting for JJ to brief them on the case.

JJ went over the case and than went to stand behind Reid's chair as the team started talking about their thoughts of the newest case that would have them travel to Main. She watched and listened as every member of her family decided on what needed to be done and who was going where they need to go. She was relieved that Reid was going to be hanging back at the police station with her. She all ready knew that Elle would be there also, which made her glad. But ever since Reid went through his life and death situation with Tobias Henkiel; she became even more protective of the youngest member of the team.

When he had learned about the three wild dogs that had attacked her in the barn and that she had to rapidly shoot them herself he had become protective of her also. Less than her of him, but she did feel more like he wanted to be her protector from that point on. She knew that she could count on him even more when they went after Frank and she told him that no matter what happened they were not going to be separated and he said he understood and wanted it that way himself.

When she had her first kill in the BAU bull pen never less - it was Reid who had made sure she made it home ok, It was Reid who had stayed on her couch for a few weeks to make sure that she was truly fine. It was Reid who made sure that she took care of herself. No one on the team knew that Reid went the extra distance with her, they didn't need to know. All they knew was that Derek had taken Penelope underneath his wing 24/7 after James Colby Baylor had shot her point blank. Only Reid truly had seen her break that night. That was the way JJ wanted it.

JJ felt eyes on her and she looked over and saw Elle eying her with deep concern. She straightened up and looked forward once more, she had a feeling that she had been looking at the top of Reid's head and in deep thought. She looked around the table and saw with relief that no one else had noticed her lapse of attention.

Elle sighed softly as she felt JJ pull herself emotionally away from her, she had felt it after JJ had pulled out of their hug and she went to stand close to Emily to comfort Emily. She thought back to how easily their friendship had sprung up when she had first joined the BAU. It was both JJ and Gracia whom had welcomed her into the family from the get go. She knew she had to prove herself to the male members of the team, she had quickly stroked up a friendship with Morgan, and Gideon had accepted her right away. Reid had come around very soon after Morgan had come around. Hotch took a while longer, but Elle knew from talking with Morgan that Hotch was a hard nut to crack.

Elle's eyes went over to where Emily was sitting and she felt a jealous rage as she noticed that Emily's own eyes were locked on where JJ was standing. Her right eye lowered as she watched as how peaceful and yet concerned Emily's eyes seemed to be. She watched as Emily quickly masked her self into an impassive look. Elle had Emily's number now, it took a two days for it to happen, but she knew Emily. She sat back in her chair as she listened to what the other team members were saying.

Hotch sighed deeply as he had watched the silent interplay between the three female members of his team which were in the room. He hadn't missed JJ's look of as she got lost in her thoughts, he very well _knew_ that she had been thinking of some of past cases that involved Reid getting into danger, he didn't miss the fact that her hands rested on Reid's shoulders. He also knew that JJ had been thinking about her first kill. He very well knew that JJ was fully recovered from the three rabid dogs attack on her, or having to shoot point blank into a man's forehead killing him on impact. But he knew that she was real taken care of by Reid, so he knew that she wouldn't go down the spiral road that Elle unfortunately went down during her personal life and death life altering experience.

He also knew that Gideon had been there in Elle's life during her leave of absence. He very well knew that even when Gideon had left briefly after Sarah's death to try to get a life out of the BAU that he had been by Elle's side. He knew that these two had helped healed each other, and were very close.

"David said that he would be coming back to help us. He said that he would meet us in Main." Hotch said as there was a pause in the conversion. He saw everyone nod, expect for Elle. "David Rossi came out of early retainment to help us while Gideon was on his own."

Gideon put his hand on Elle's arm as he watched her tense up and turn her gaze onto Emily. He felt her unwind a little bit. He put gentle pressure and felt her relax, well as relaxed she was going to get.

Hotch hadn't missed the tick in Emily's face as she looked over at Elle and knew that the woman didn't like or respect her. He had wanted to reach over Morgan and put his hand on her arm to let her know that everything would work out all right, that Elle would accept her soon enough. But he couldn't allow his emotions to over rule his common sense and his place as leader of the team. It would have been unprofessional to do so and Aaron Hotchner was anything but professional at all times in his life. He was relieved to watch Morgan lean back in his chair and rest his arm gently on the back of Emily's chair and resting his fingers on her shoulder.

"All right so the game plan is as following, JJ, Reid and Elle will be working full time with the police at their station. While I, Emily and Hotch will go to the crime scene and Gideon and Rossi will start interviewing the families that we have so far." Morgan said with a tight nod.

Gideon nodded, this would be the first case since Rossi's early retainment that the two Senior Special Agent worked together. "It will be nice working along side David once more."

Elle's head turned and she just simply stared into Gideon's eyes. She read the peace in his eyes when he had spoken David Rossi's, his replacement when he went into his own second early retainment name. She breathed a little easier and gave the smallest of all nods as she turned away once more.

Hotch stood to his feet, "Time to go, the plane will be leaving in one hour." With that he turned and left the office.

The rest of the team followed suite leaving only Reid and JJ in the room. Reid slowly turned the chair around and looked up into JJ's eyes. "JJ ..." he said gently as he noticed her far away expression.

JJ was back in the barn with the dogs, she jumped to her feet and her gun was pointed at the man who was making his way towards her. She saw that it was Morgan and she wanted to lower her gun but her finger inched even closer to the trigger and suddenly she fired. She saw BAU glass door window break into millions of pieces as the bullet made a small mark in James Colby Baylor. She watched unblinking as Baylor slowly dropped face forward and laid dead with eyes wide open. Eyes that were staring at her, she raised her eyes and looked into Hotch's compassionate eyes, but her eyes looked back down to the man that she had just killed.

Reid stood to his feet and walked over to a shell shocked JJ and put his arms around her. He felt her body tense and begin to shake. "JJ it's ok, it's Reid. You are safe." He softly said as he pulled her into his arms and wrapped his arms around her back. He felt her head come to rest on his chest and he felt her shakes began to come to a rest. He felt her arms slowly wrap themselves around his back as she pulled him even closer to her. Reid lowered his head and rested it on top of her head.

Elle stopped at the open door as she just simply watched as Reid comforted JJ. She had come back to the conference room because she had forgotten her pad and pen, but she stopped when she saw JJ in Reid's arms. It looked like she had missed quite a bit since she had been gone. Last thing she knew off JJ and Reid, he still had been crushing on her and she just thought of him as a sweet kid. But now, it looked like JJ was returning Reid's feelings.

Elle turned and looked straight in the eyes of Emily Prentiss from the end of the hallway. Her left eye brow raised as she folded her arms across her chest. Emily's head raised and her hands went to tug down her all ready straight suit jacket. Emily slowly nodded and turned on her heel and started towards the stair case. Elle had one this round. Elle looked once more into the conference room and smiled a tight smile before she turned and walked down the hallway to the staircase herself. She had to get her suitcase from her car.

**END CHAPTER ONE**


	3. The Flight Home

**CHAPTER TWO**

**THE FLIGHT HOME**

_"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." -- Abraham Lincoln_

**I **

Another successful case solved, the entire team worked perfect together per usual. Hotch was extremely proud that God saw fit to grant him these people to work with day in and day out. These were the people whom he could always relay on to have his back. No matter what happens in life. He looked around the jet from his seat in the chair that was closets to the doors that would lead the way off the jet once it lands on the air stripe.

He knew that Jason was across from him deep in a game of chess, not with Reid for a change but with David. David had agreed to fly back with them. It looked like the game was even set even though both men had different ways of playing. He knew that Jason finally had meet his match and was quiet pleased with the fact. Hotch's eyes traveled past Jason's seat and saw Morgan sitting just behind Jason. He noticed that Morgan had his heavy black stereo head phones on and he saw Derek's head move back and forward. He had a feeling that Derek was listening to perhaps heavy mental. Which Derek did sometimes after a long and trying case.

Aaron's eyes moved past Derek over to where Emily was sitting staring out of the window, he saw how truly tired she was but he also saw her hiding it from everyone else and herself. But he very well knew that everyone on board the jet very well knew the truth, they were top profiles after all and truly they couldn't hide anything from anyone of them. His eyes slowly traveled away from Emily to look at Elle who was sitting on the couch that was opposite Emily's chair and saw that Elle was staring at Emily. He noticed the impassive look on Elle's face but he also saw her hands clench in her lap. He sighed as he moved past Elle.

Aaron looked across the couch where Elle was sitting to the couch where Reid and JJ were sitting together, a little closer than they would have been sitting three years ago. He smiled a private smile as he saw how close these two who were the youngest members of the team had gotten. He was happy for that. Not only for Reid's shake because he knew the genius was truly in love with the press liaison. But also JJ's because even if she hadn't admit to herself that she truly loved Reid, she was close to it. He was also relieved that JJ finally let someone truly in. He leaned his head back against his head rest and relaxed.

**II**

Emily sighed inwardly because she felt Elle's eyes steading on her. She had been nervous when she heard that Elle Greenaway was coming back to the BAU. She very well knew that Elle would look at her as her replacement and she was correct. But she truly believed that she and Elle would become friends, but now just a week later she knew that would never happen. Not by a long shot. She sighed inwardly once more. She wanted to talk this over with JJ but JJ was sitting next to Reid. On the plane rides to and from cases of late JJ always wanted to sit next to Reid.

Her mind drifted to the case. It had been an interesting case involving a granddaughter who had murdered her grandfather because she thought that it was his fault that she had a ordinary and boring life. She thought of the times that she was at the police station and she felt Elle's slight glare at her, Emily knew that Elle was jealous that Emily was out in the field while she herself was stuck at the police station doing back ground checks, and being kept safe.

_Emily walked past a few desk and over to where JJ was sitting with a phone tucked underneath her chin. She sat down in the empty chair opposite her and waited for her friend to get off the phone._

_JJ's blue eyes looked weary as she nodded her head and spoke into the phone, "Thank you again sir for the information. Yes it is helpful to us, yes sir. Good bye sir." She hung up the phone and turned her eyes fully onto Emily. _

_Emily's eye brow lifted waiting to see if the tip that JJ had just gotten was going to help them crack the case. JJ's eyes lowered and she knew that it wasn't a good tip. She reached over and tapped JJ's arm lightly and JJ lifted her eyes back to the kind and gentle eyes of Emily._

"_We are going to find the murder, JJ, it will just take time." Emily sighed softly. "As most of these crimes do." She left her fingers on JJ's arm. JJ let out some breath and nodded her head. "What some coffee? Orange Juice? Milk?" Emily asked as she noticed the empty mug next to JJ's phone._

_JJ shook her head. "How about you?" Emily shook her head. "I have more coffee in me that I don't think I'll sleep for a month." She snorted softly as she thought of all the bad coffee that she had consumed since arriving in Main five day previous. _

_Emily's fingers began to run up and down JJ's lower arm. She opened her mouth when sudden, "Prentiss." She turned her head still with her fingers on JJ's arm and saw Hotch nod his head towards the door. She sighed inwardly and stood to her feet letting her fingers off of JJ. "I better go." She turned around and found Elle's hard eyes steady on her. _

_Emily simply silently nodded and turned and followed Hotch and Morgan out of the police station. She wasn't going to feel guilty for her friendship with JJ. _

**III**

Reid rested his head against the plane wall and he turned his head to look at JJ who had her head resting on the couch cushion. He watched as her eyes finally closed, but he could tell that she wasn't relaxed enough to try to get some sleep before they arrived back on the air strip. He watched as her lids twitched. He loved watching her in these moments, when her eyes were closed.

His thoughts drifted to the case. One moment at the police station earlier in the week to be precises.

_Reid was sitting at the computer with his head phones on and Miles Davies voice into his ear. He sighed as he typed in some more combination and still nothing came to light. He shook his head and out of the corner of his right eye he saw Elle standing in front of the huge white board where the team had posted pictures of the crime scene. He watched as she tilted her head to the side and her back was in a tense but relaxed fashion. _

_Elle suddenly turned as she felt eyes on her back and she found Reid looking at her from the corner of her eyes. But her eyes quickly skimmed past him and over to where JJ was standing with a cup of coffee in her right hand with her clear blue eyes locked straight at her. She walked over to where JJ was standing and leaned against the wall._

"_Hey." Elle said leaning against the wall herself and folded her arms across her chest._

"_Hey." JJ said right back. "Any leads?"_

_Elle sighed deeply. "No, and I wish I was out there in the field so I can get some." _

_JJ remained silent. She lifted the mug up and took a sip of the horrible police station coffee. She actually wished for a Star bucks._

"_Any worth while tips?" Elle asked turning slightly sideways so she could study JJ's profile._

"_The usual miss leads, but we did have two that sound promising. Hotch and Gideon are checking them out." JJ said as she lowered the mug from her face. Her eyes looked at the back of Reid's head as he was working on the computer. "Do you know that Reid is into Miles Davis now?"_

"_Oh?" Elle said in a non plussed voice. She kept her eyes firmly on JJ's face as she studied her co worker and friend. But she felt like JJ was more her co worker than friend at the moment. After the hug that JJ had given her on her first day back at the BAU, Elle had felt JJ distancing herself from her._

_JJ nodded her head. "The early stuff but still at least Reid is finally sitting back and enjoying something in his life." _

"_JJ ..." Elle said but than paused._

_JJ turned her eyes to look at Elle, "What is it Elle?" She asked in a gentle voice. Her blue eyes waiting for Elle to finish what she was going to say._

_Elle sighed. "Nothing." She turned to go, when she felt a hand on her arm. She turned back and found JJ's kind blue eyes showing some of the familiar friendship. _

"_Talk to me," JJ said as she felt Elle beginning to relax a little. Elle opened her mouth when suddenly Emily walked passed and Elle tighten up once more. JJ sighed as she felt Elle pull away from her once more. She let Elle go and watched as Elle walked back over to the white board and stood in front of it with Gideon at her side._

_The song had ended and Reid had heard everything that had been said from behind him, a blank computer scene beside him allowed him to watch the enter action between JJ and Elle and Elle's face when Emily walked passed. _

Reid looked down as he felt a hand covering his that was resting on the couch between him and JJ, he smiled softly as he found JJ's hand covering his. He looked up and saw that JJ had fallen lightly asleep. He would hate it that he would have to wake her up soon. But the plane was going to land in another fifteen minutes. He just simply sat there watching her sleep and allowed their hands to comfort each other.

**IV**

JJ sighed deeply as she slowly felt her body come awake once more. She didn't want to wake up but she knew that she had too. She could feel the jet start to drop. Her eyes blinked as her vision started to clear. She looked straight into the eyes of Spencer Reid. "Hey," She whispered.

"Hey." He whispered back. His right hand reached over and pushed back some hair that had fallen in her right eye. "That's better."

"Thanks." She still whispered.

"You are welcome." Reid smiled.

"I owe you one." She winked.

"No you don't." Reid said with a shrug. "I was happy to do it."

"Move in with me." She said.

Reid blinked.

"I have plenty of room in my house, and it has to be better than your Umm well I hate to say it seedy looking apartment." She whispered her hand tighten slightly in his.

"JJ ... it's not allowed, we could get fired." Reid whispered.

"No body needs to know." She said. "Don't you have a P.O. Box instead of a typical mail box at your apartment."

Reid nodded.

"Move in with me." She repeated.

"I can't." Reid said.

"Yes you can." She replied. "You need a nicer place to live, you also need some companionship when you aren't working. You need to get away from reading whatever you can get your hands on and not truly enjoying what is passing through your eyes."

"What's in it for you?" Reid asked.

She slowly let go of his hand and sat up straight and tall, she closed herself off from him and went back into herself. The jet landed onto the air strip and she stood to her feet and grabbed her suite case and followed Hotch, Gideon and Rossi off of the plane without a back ward glance at anyone.

**VI**

Morgan got up and walked over and slapped Reid on the shoulder. "Man what ever you did, you didn't score many points kid."

Reid grabbed his messenger bag and swung it across his shoulders. "Stay out of it Morgan." He moved past Morgan and existed the plane.

Morgan blinked and sighed. "The course of true love is never easy." He shook his head and held out his hand for either Emily or Elle to pass him. Both women stepped forward to pass and than stopped as they realized that they would have ran into one another. Morgan watched with interest as Emily waved her hand for Elle to pass, and Elle lifted her eye brow and allowed Emily to pass. Neither woman moved.

Morgan sighed and put his hands on both of their shoulders and pulled them out into the isles so they could walk towards the door together, he was pleased to note that two people could pass through the door together. He gently pushed the two strong willed women through the door.

**END CHAPTER TWO**

_**Author's Note: Ok I promise I will go into more detail on a case or two later on in the story. This chapter I just wanted to do two flash backs and some private thoughts. **_


	4. Strong and Vulnerable

**CHAPTER THREE**

**STONG AND VULNERABLE **

"_He like to observe emotions; they were like red lanterns strung along the dark unknown of another's personality, marking vulnerable points." - Ayn Rand_

**I**

Hotch sat alone in his apartment, the apartment that he had brought after Hayley had divorced him. He had Jack for the weekend, so he had taken the weekend off and left Gideon in charge. He was pleased for once that Strauss wasn't all over his back for his much needed request off. He was going to fully enjoy these two days with his only son. The son that he barely saw, even when he and Hayley were still together he barely saw his son. He pretty much missed all of Jack's newborn and infant stage. He was working on missing his toddler stage. But that's the way life is when you work for the FBI – Behavioral Analysis Unite was the worse of them all.

Hotch shook his head and and leaned back against his leather brown. Hayley would be dropping off Jack in another two hours so he allowed his mind to drift towards his _family_ his team. His mind drifted to Emily first, as it always did when he was alone and thinking about the team. He slowly felt his mouth lift up ward in a smile as her face appeared in front of me. He could almost reach out and cup her chin in his hands, if he did than he knew he would actually feel her skin.

He could smell her scent, past her perfume down to the body wash she loved to use. He could smell HER even past the body wash. He swallowed hard as he blinked rapidly disappeared from in front of him, he allowed his mind to drift back onto his memory of her.

He closed his eyes as her face reappeared in his mind eye, he could see clearly the smooth lines of her face when she first walked into his office on her first day. He could see the worried winkles but he knew that she was able to hide them from him – but he noticed of course, how could he not he was a top profile after all. It was his job and he truly couldn't turn that part of himself off any longer. He had been in a grumpy mood after the lose of Elle, and he very well knew that Strauss was on his back. He also knew that the only reason why this early thirties something woman was in his office without his personal ok was because she was sent by Strauss to spy on him. Too see if he truly was right to be the leader of the team. He resented the younger woman for this and he truly didn't believe her when she said that she hated political connections. He knew better – he knew how the game was played.

He wanted to make her life miserable and keep her behind at the desk – he did notice in her file in his first brief glance that she had been transferred from a desk job. He was going to make her stay at her desk in the bull pen and make her work like a interloper dog that she was – but than the case came up and Gideon said that she had to go with him and Reid, she spoke and understood Egyptian better than any one who was currently in the BAU bull pen.

He was actually relieved that she was out of the office that day; he wanted to be left alone and prepare for his rough but very professional treatment of her – but than she had called to inform him that the three person team needed a classified video tape to trap the unsub into confessing where the bomb was. Thanks to her Hotch learned that the bomb was going to go off at the mall where Hayley was going to take Jack for his first pictures. Hotch privately thanked Emily for the information because he was going to call Hayley and inform her not to go – but yet he didn't because he knew it was against the law. But he privately thanked Emily Prentiss for informing him that his family was in danger so he could make Morgan break all speed laws to get to the mall. Afterwards the mall was safe and so where the people – when he had arrived home he found Hayley on the floor on his side of their bed and Jack sitting up teething. He had learned that Hayley had decided _not _go to the mall after all – at least until Hotch could go and watch his son get his first picture taken.

Even though he didn't trust her – he started to relay on her in the team. He didn't put his plan in action. He was relieved that she was there when Reid got kidnapped by Henkiel. He was relived she was with Morgan in the barn because Morgan had told him that it was Emily who actually got through to JJ otherwise JJ would have shot Morgan. He began to truly get a handle of her when he had stopped behind her in Henkiel's hallway when JJ commented on why Emily didn't blink during any of their cases. Not even when she looked at pictures or the corpses. Hotch wondered about it also; he didn't miss the way her eyes ticked slightly when she just shrugged off that seeing how she was from a desk job she was used to looking at the pictures and that she had become immune to it. He kept an eye on her as she walked away and when he turned back to look at JJ she had disappeared herself.

He had grown annoyed when he saw how Reid was treating Emily, he wanted to take the youngest agent out and beat some sense into him and teach him how to be kind to others. But he saw that although Emily was sad that Reid didn't want to accept her – she was fully able to take care of herself and handle out right dislike. She didn't allow Reid's attitude affect her job or her place the team. She showed that she did trust and relay on Reid no matter what. Hotch respected her for that.

When Gracia got shot wand was in the surgery fighting for her life – Hotch was the only one who had his eyes clued on JJ. He very well knew that JJ and Gracia had very special bond and JJ was the most upset over what had happened to her best friend. He had watched as Emily sat forward and with a firm look on her face eying JJ and than without looking down reached over and gently wrap her hand slowly JJ's and than gripping it for dear life.

Emily Prentiss was a strong woman – emotionally. He was pleased to have her on his team, he knew that he could count on her all the time. But he also knew that Emily truly did want to open up and allow people in. He had seen the battle but he had seen Emily tightly shut her true self up and continued living her life tightly wound up.

**II**

Hotchner's mind went to Elle next. Elle whom he had first met during a kidnapping case. Elle who wanted to transfer from her sex offenders job to work as a profile. Elle who he quickly saw was cable of the job but truly put her out of his mind – he all ready had a team he could trust. Sides Gideon finally came back from his PTS and Hotch had to make sure he was ready to be back at work. So he had brushed off Elle Greenaway. He was relieved to find that both Gideon and Morgan took her under their wing and advised her what to do to get on Hotch's good graces.

Elle quickly became part of his family – a most vulnerable part. She became his slightly younger sister. A sister that he never knew he had missed until he had met her. She was the strongest female that he had ever come across in his career – but he knew that she was valuable just as valuable as either JJ or Gracia. But just a different kind of vulnerable than the two youngest females of the group. He had done a back ground check on her and knew that she herself had been raped when she was sixteen year old. He never told the team but he knew that Jason knew that something had happened to Elle in her past – but he his own way of discovering the truth.

He blamed himself and only himself for sending Elle home during the Rebbecca Garner case. He very well knew that the team had been targeted and he knew that the unsub had gotten into their person lives. He also knew how exhausted she was from her rude awaking and being kept up 24 hours at the jail in Jamaica. She had fallen asleep on the conference room couch for crying out loud - Hotch honesty thought he was doing her a great favor by sending her home to her own bed. He should have sent someone else who had more knowledge on knowing to remain Elle to keep her safe – instead of that new kid who was truly only a copy guy. He should have sent Morgan.

When he got the call that Randall had broken into Elle's apartment and shot her in the chest point blank – his heart stopped. He knew that he had sent Elle Greenaway to her death. It was a miracle that she had survived but she truly didn't survive. She became a different woman after that. She became much harder and more distance with the team. She blamed the team for not being there for her – she blamed the team for not being her family. Hotch knew that she as even angry at Gideon even through he had been there when she woken up and had told her that he was sorry for give JJ the order to break Randall's rule about getting the outside help.

Than he so willing put her in a decoy situation for a rapist she had panicked and he had walked. But Elle went to his hotel and shot him cold. She denied that she meant to kill him – she had stated and would always state that she had shot the unsub in self defense that she had only gone to him just to talk and warn him that he would slip up and they would get him in the end. But Hotch didn't believe her – he knew in his gut that Elle had shot to kill. He had told her that she had to talk to someone before she was allowed back at work. She had left his office without comment and when he called her she never answered.

He went to her new apartment with the door man and watched as Elle walked from the building with her street clothes on and her suite case. He called her once more and watched as she looked at her cell phone and than tossed it in the garbage. He had followed her to her father's grave ... the next moment they were in his office where she turned in her gun and badge and walked out of this life. He had lost a team mate and he didn't stop it.

When Strauss had told him that Elle was coming back and that she had full rights to the team once more – Hotch was relieved and happy. But he said that he would be treating Elle the way he originally planned on having her at her desk and at police stations. Out of the field and out of danger. Strauss had told him to do what he thought was best.

When he had looked up and into Elle's eyes he knew that she was finally on her way back. It would be slow and long but she was going to be her old self, wiser and more valuable now but she would be Elle Greenaway once more.

**III**

JJ. The youngest female member of the team – everyone's baby sister. The most like him when it came to closing off ones emotions and putting on a poker face. The truly most vulnerable member of the team.

JJ the member who had changed even more after Reid's tragedy, she had changed even more than Reid himself had. Not only because of the three rabid dogs attack on her and her having to kill them point blank. But she had felt guilty for not stopping Reid from going off on her own, she blamed herself to this day on Reid being kidnapped and tortured. Hotch knew that JJ would never forgive herself for what happened to Reid. She had become over protective of him. At first no one noticed because they noticed that Reid wasn't himself but they just waited for Reid to deal with what ever he had to deal with and get back to life.

But once Reid was truly back to himself and back with the team - JJ's protectiveness became much clear and much noticeable. She had been standing behind Reid's chair after she had gone over the details of the case – anytime Reid was assigned the field her eyes would darken with worry as she looked at the back of Reid's head but when he was assigned to one of the police stations she relaxed.

Hotch was beginning to hope that she was finally admitting to herself that she was in love with Reid, especially the night that the team had a movie night with Jason's films, he hadn't missed the relaxed fashion she had flirted with Reid with the popcorn.

Than Penelope got shot. Out of all the team JJ was the one who broke down – well as much as she allowed herself too. Hotch hadn't missed her being in her own world as they waited for news on Penelope while she was in surgery. He hadn't missed the fact that she didn't even notice that Emily was sitting beside her or that Emily had slipped her hand into her own. He had heard from Morgan that when Penelope asked JJ to stay behind that JJ's eyes grew more human than ever before. When JJ came out and Morgan asked what Gracia asked her to promise – JJ said not to treat her like a victim – Emily had said that it sounded like JJ was like a little girl.

It was JJ who had to shoot Boyle through the BAU glass window. Hotch had watched as the window shade into millions of pieces and the bullet hit Boyle straight in the middle of the eyes - JJ hadn't blinked. Not one muscle moved on her face as she stared at the dead body of her first kill – when she had looked up into his eyes – Hotch didn't see JJ, he just saw a shell of the woman whom he loved as a baby sister.

Penelope slowly healed from her experience and she was still the old lovable Gracia that everyone loved. But JJ still hadn't healed from her first kill. Hotch had watched as JJ truly shut herself down and started to pull away from the team. All expect for Gracia, Emily and Reid. Especially Reid. She drew her strength from Spencer Reid. She wasn't truly relaxed or calm until Reid was in her line of vision.

**IV **

Three women, all who were strong and vulnerable at the same time. All who had their own lives to live and experiences to live through. Two of them would be fine in this mad world that they called earth while the other one would break if she didn't allow herself to break and heal. 

He was wondering if he would lose another member of his family. If he did will she come back like the other two had, or will she disappear from his life.

**END CHAPTER THREE**


	5. Life or Something Like It

**CHAPTER FOUR**

**LIFE OR SOMETHING LIKE IT**

_When you are thinking something, you have the feeling that the thoughts do nothing expect inform you the way things are and than YOU choose to do something and you do it. That's what people generally assume. But actually, the way you think determines the way you're going to do things. Then you don't notice a result comes back, or you don't see it as a result of what you've done, or even less do you see it as a result of how you were thinking. Is that clear? -- David Bohm_

**I**

Spencer picked up his phone and quickly dialed the number. He waited for JJ to pick up. "Do you really mean it?" He asked without bothering to say hello.

"Of course I mean it, Spence, I wouldn't offer my personal home and access to my private life if I didn't mean it." JJ said softly on her end. She paused. "Does this mean that you are at least thinking about my offer?"

Spencer sighed as he leaned back against his headboard. "Yes." He blew out the air in his thoart. "We could get into serious trouble for this JJ. This is against policy, we could get fired or get transferred. Either you would be transferred or I would. Or worse both of us would be transferred." He held the phone to his ear. "I'm not even talking to a different part of the building, JJ, I'm talking about different states."

"It's worth the risk, sides if they do transfer you, Spence, than I'll go with you. I don't even care if I have to lose my job. You are more important to me." JJ confessed.

Spencer made up his mind, "All right, JJ, I'll move in with you." He looked around his bedroom. "You are right, I am lonely here and I don't even know how to decorate properly. It'll be nice to be in a nicely decorated home again. I haven't been in one since I lived with my mom."

"Perhaps soon you and I can go and visit your mom." JJ softly said.

Spencer blinked. "Uhh I don't know, JJ ..."

"Non of the team blames you for writing your mother about us. We actually fell honored that you would tell your mother some private things about us. Things that only you have noticed, Spence." JJ said softly.

"But look what happened too Elle, it's very dangerous to allow that information out." Spencer shook his head. "Look what happened to Gracia when she tried to protect us after Randall managed to hack into the computer."

"We actually feel honored that your mother wrote that we were like the Knights of the Round Table in her journal. It makes what we do more manageable." JJ said. "I wish you would still write to your mother."

"It's too dangerous." Spencer firmly said.

"Your mother understands better now, she'll be more careful." JJ said. She sighed. "Look Spence, after you moved in and when we get some time off together. We'll go see your mom and make sure that she understands that she can't share the information with anyone else. She'll be happy just to hear about your work once more."

Spencer remained silent. He knew it would be furital to fight with JJ with this. He knew he would lose.

"So I was thinking you can start to move in this weekend, " JJ's voice sounded more cheerful and relaxed. Now that she had gotten her way in the matter of her living space.

"Ok." Spencer said. "I don't have much to take with me, I rented this place fully furnished. I just have my clothes, books and toilettes."

JJ sighed on her end of the phone, "Spence, Spence that is going to change. I'm going to teach you what you need in life. And it's going to be more than just clothes, toilettes and books." It sounded like she was smiling on the other end, Spencer could just see her beautiful smile and he smiled himself.

**II**

Elle opened the door at the knock. "Hello Jason." She said not surprised that he wasn't announced from the door man. He was on her expected guest list down at the desk. The door men knew whom Jason Gideon was by now. How could they not he had been visiting her since the day she moved into the safer apartment building after her attack.

"Elle." Jason said walking past her into the apartment. He turned around as he watched her close and lock her door. She had more locks on it than anyone he has ever seen. Personal or at a crime scene. He also knew that she had her windows specially sealed so no one could break in. He turned away before she could turn back around to face her. He didn't want her to see the sadness in his eyes. She would just take it as pity and kick him out and not allow him to come and visit her. He couldn't allow that to happen. Not ever.

"Jason." She simply said as she walked passed him into the sitting room and sat down on the chair. He noticed that she wasn't in the mood for closeness. Otherwise she would have sat on the couch. He walked over and sat in the chair that was opposite her. He would allow her to make the moves here. He always allowed her to make the moves. Even before the attack. He sensed that she didn't like to give up control so he allowed her to control their relationship.

He looked her straight in the eyes and simply waited for any sign. She stared right back at him in her firm steady fashion. She finally lifted one perfect right eye brow and he spoke, "Have you had any dinner yet?"

"I stopped at the deli on my way home." Elle said with a nod. "I had a roast beef sandwich, with extra cheese. American. I had a side soup of milestone. I also had a large iced tea with lemon on the side. Oh and I added two packets of sweet n' low to it."

Jason's mouth twitched in the right corner. "Ok I get that you are tired with my question if you are taking care of yourself." He smiled. "Well seeing how you told me what you ate, I'll give you the same back. I left the office and walked down to the hot dog stand where I grabbed two hot dogs, I was in mood for just mustard, relish, and onions. I also had a large coke to go along with the dogs."

Elle allowed her own mouth to twitch at the side but she quickly stiffen her lips back into a stern stiff line. She wasn't in the mood to joke around with Jason tonight. Matter of fact she wasn't in the mood for his visit – but she knew Jason. He wasn't going to leave her alone tonight, not now. He thought she needed him. Which she did. But Elle Greenaway was proud and independent and she wanted to deal with this on her own.

"So are we going to talk about what is really troubling you now or do you want to continue this private battle?" Jason asked in a matter of fact tone.

"I want you to leave." Elle said in a hard and bitter tone.

"I can't." Jason said in a kind tone. "You know that trying to keep things bottled up inside you will just destroy you, Elle."

"Like it did when I pulled a gun on ..." Elle stopped talking as she realized what she was about to say.

"Did you go on the intent of killing William Lee?" Jason asked in a steady voice never taking his eyes off of her.

"I'm here to let you know that I'm not going to rest until you go away." Elle said looking into Lee's eyes.

_Lee just smiled. "No. You're here because you want me to say thank you."_

"_You are sick."_

"_Really? Because ... without you I would still be locked up." He leans in closer to her. "Thank you. You've made a lot of women very happy." He turns and walks away._

"_Hey, Lee." _

_He turns around. She turns, and takes out her gun and fires twice. He falls to his knees and she fires a third time. He falls to the ground, dead. She walks over and stands with her gun still pointed at his body. She sees that he's dead and she lowers her gun as she tries to get her breath back._

_**A/N: Time to break in and say that I just got this word for word from the episode "Aftermath". All rights go to CBS and the writers of Criminal Minds. **_

"The moment that I pulled my gun, I only saw Randall. I pulled the trigger because I was protecting myself from Randall." Elle said as she zoomed onto Jason's face once more. "If I had that psychological status report that Hotch ordered than I would have been fired." She shook her head. "I know that Hotch was only trying to help me. But talking to someone for an hour at a time doesn't help."

"It didn't help when your father died." Jason didn't even have to phase that into a question he all ready knew the answer.

Elle remained silent.

"What finally healed you?" Jason asked.

"Your friendship. My mother always calling me and trying to draw me out." Elle said. "Even through I have never put into words about the night that Lee died until this moment, I allowed myself to fully trust you and my mother. That helped me heal from what Randall had done to me."

"Why didn't you allow JJ or Reid to help you also?" Jason asked tilting his head to the left.

"They are still too young and fresh eyed to shoulder my problems." Elle said in a rough voice. "I didn't want to add more burden to their all ready burden shoulders. They were just learning how to begin to deal with the harsh cruelty that humans could do to one another." She shook her head. "I would have destroyed them."

"They are much stronger than they look." Jason said. "Look how Reid is dealing with what Tobias Henkel did to him."

Elle just raised her right eye brow on that. They both knew that Reid had trouble with his ordeal and had gone through some troubling times that he wasn't ready to speak about quite yet. They both knew that what ever Reid had done that he could lose his job over it. Just as Elle could still lose her job over Lee if someone wanted to push the issue.

"How's JJ doing with her fear of dogs?" Elle asked.

Jason sighed and frowned. "She's hiding it well. But not well enough. The outsiders don't know or haven't caught on but the team knows. But we haven't forced her to deal with it." He sighed. "Although I think it would be best if we did."

"It's not your place." Elle shrugged.

"We see dogs all the time. Most of them are tame house dogs. But it doesn't matter JJ still tenses up and closes herself off." Jason said softly. "It's not healthy. One of these days I believe JJ is going to forget herself and think she's still in the barn and has to kill the dogs before they kill her." His eyes lowered and than raised once more. "That will be tragic."

Elle nodded. "Don't let her out in the field. Leave her at the police stations."

Jason shook his head, "there are police dogs."

Elle blew out of her nose and she felt her bangs fly up and than land softly on her forehead. "I'm actually surprised that Prentiss hadn't helped JJ through this."

"Jealous?" Jason's left eye bow rose.

Elle snorted.

"So that's a yes." Jason said and he was actually silently pleased with this development. It showed that Elle was ready to live her life once more.

"I just know how close of a friendship she and JJ share is all." Elle said with a shrug. "That I'm just surprised that JJ hasn't allowed Prentiss to help her is all." Her lips pushed up ward in a unknown pout.

Jason opened his mouth to speak when Elle suddenly stood to her feet and walked towards the door. "So if we are finished here."

Jason remained where he was sitting – but he did turn his face to face her. "Why are you shutting me out?"

Elle stopped and just stared at the locked door. "I just want to be alone is all, Gideon."

"You aren't alone. You have people who care and love you. It is quite impossible to be alone. Trust me I know." Jason said in a soft far away voice. Elle turned slowly around and faced him. She walked over and sat down on the couch.

Jason stood slowly to his feet and moved over and sat next to her. His left shoulder touched her right shoulder slightly. The two fallen agents sat facing the far wall lost in their own private thoughts. Both being comforted by each other presence. Nothing more needed to be said that night.

**END CHAPTER FOUR**


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